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Post by Admin on Jun 29, 2023 12:25:50 GMT
I'm not into 'Well at least-ism' type of mindset.
I've learned, throughout my long journey and life, that those who dwell on 'Well at least this or at least that', themselves always have the least amount of anything.
That's like some slave era mindset where 'at least the massa gave us biscuits with the pork'...type of BS.
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Post by Admin on Jun 29, 2023 12:27:34 GMT
And everyone lives teir own heaven and or hell, and so it's stupid to compare your trials with that of another.
What's hard for some may be easy for others.
Most battles, really though, lay within one's own mind.
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Post by Admin on Jul 4, 2023 7:16:15 GMT
It's the 4th of july today, so what, just another day to me (can't capitalize 'j', cause keyboard not acting right)
Heck, I just bought a laptop for someone, now wish I had kept it for myself.
You can order them pretty cheap on Amazon, used refurbished ones.
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Post by Admin on Jul 4, 2023 7:22:31 GMT
Can't sleep, so trying to bleed of some mind energy  I have no need for tomorrow, which simply puts me closer to the next day, which I also have no need for anymore. I'm content with 'now', this peaceful moment in the early morning darkness and quietness. But even then, negative news, info, will try to disrupt your mind, have to be careful what you let into your mind. Also, I've got like 4 fans blowing on me, and still way cheaper than running a/c. I need to get like 2-3 more fans, then I'll really be set. Anyways, maybe I'll try to fade back off into sleep, while watching a movie.
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Post by Admin on Jul 4, 2023 22:42:31 GMT
Ye, it's the 4th alright
Ye, it's the 4th (can't type the rest cause keyboard acting up)
So what.
Without friends and family to celebrate it with, so what.
About to go to store now though, corner store, and buy some whatever.
Black media conservatives annoy me, in that they're always trying to kiss the butt of the past, which was very ugly and violent in America if not 'white'.
Watch video, expand your mind.
Have a hot dog, what do I care...
Happy 4th.
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Post by Admin on Jul 4, 2023 22:57:44 GMT
About to go to the store, corner store, which can always turn into conflict, depending on who's there.
Why are so many corner stores across this nation ran by, owned by, people from the middle east??
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Post by Admin on Jul 5, 2023 1:02:32 GMT
Happy 4th, whatever that means to you  To me, hmm. A time that used to be special.
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Post by Admin on Jul 5, 2023 1:36:40 GMT
I should just buy whatever I want, since have no one to buy anything for.
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Post by Admin on Jul 5, 2023 23:49:14 GMT
About to ust go to bed and chill, maybe I'll get lucky enough to find a good decent movie on the way out to la la dream land.  |
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Post by Admin on Jul 17, 2023 20:44:01 GMT
Sometimes I think the internet can read your mind, cause seems even if you just think of a product or service in your mind, it shortly appears in a online ad, very odd.
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Post by Admin on Jul 22, 2023 16:08:04 GMT
Social media, typing stuff online, wasting time doing such, is the biggest waste of time ever.
I think we, others, people, do it more to comfort self, more so than thinking anything we type online is heard or read by others.
Like playing in a big sandbox all by yourself.
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Post by Admin on Jul 22, 2023 16:09:21 GMT
I gave up twitter about 2 months ago, and still glad I did, got tired of chasing views, and dumping so much intellectual thought into posts that weren't even allowed to be seen by others.
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Post by Admin on Jul 23, 2023 1:34:11 GMT
Still a good video/song, of me lightly raging
No apologize for this song, cause it was my reality at the time, and still pretty much is.
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Post by Admin on Jul 25, 2023 5:46:40 GMT
I should be in bed sleeping right now, but it's my last full day off, and once I go to bed and wake up tomorrow, then Wednesday have to work, as such I always try to hang onto the night/day, as long as I can.
I've been in a bit of a stupor lately, a bit down, depressed, as I try to find purpose in life again, purpose for myself that is, as in a reason to once again look forward to my future here on earth.
I may start taking a online course to make that happen, but it costs, but so does not making the right decisions in life.
I'm where I'm at now cause in the past so failed to prepare properly.
Not that I'm in a bad situation, rather I'm not in a favorable one, a fulfilling one.
I think I was actually doing better 20 years ago compared to now, probably making more also, and things were cheaper, rent was cheaper, food, everything.
Oh well.
--------------------------
When I was younger I had no idea how corrupt the people in this world was.
I was shielded from so much of it I suppose, even well into adulthood I was shielded from it.
But now I feel like it's all closing in, just the ugliness of everything.
Crime, criminals, I mean it's all just right beneath the surface of society.
Billions of money flowing through illegal means, yet most of us still do the Leave it to Beaver routine of living properly.
But one day it's all going to break down.
Anywaays, it's late, or early, however you wanna see it.
I've gotta boost my moral again, cause I don't like feeling like there's no hope in the future, or at least my own.
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Post by Admin on Aug 7, 2023 13:26:38 GMT
To me it's all about 'Fate', and not so much effort, the longer I live the more I realize this
I've lived long enough to see others hurled into advantaged positions in life, not do to effort or skill, but rather do to fate, and timing, and or pedigree, and other factors outside of personal effort.
I mean sure effort helps, drive, determination, but if fate doesn't have you in the right places, meeting the right people at the right time, than personal effort and drive means squat, and will get you nowhere.
Believe me you, there are plenty of poor people all around the world who have grit and determination and drive, yet they're still poor and desolate, why?....cause of fate, that's why.
And for those who do rise up and create change in their world, again, it's do to fate...a series of things, events, moments, encounters, have to go right in order to get where we, or they are, for the better or worse.
And fate seems to favor some, while dismissing many others to historical obliteration.
You can't chose what family your born into, or who'll be your siblings, or what neighborhood you'll be raised in, what color you are, the pool of possible friends you may make while growing up, ect and ect.
And history points this out even more clearer than I do...like how certain people, before famous, meet, or were friends, ect, then only later when you read about it you're like
'Wow, a young Al Capone, while living in New York, had a meeting with 'Lucky Luciano', before any of them would go onto be the international mafia crime bosses we all read about'?
Or how Redd Fox and Cashius Clay (Ali) used to hang out in Harlem together when young, and both men then went on to become superstars?
And that's just one of many examples.
Anyways, I could write a short book on this subject of how fate is the real master of us all, but right now gotta get up and go exercise.
I will only win in this world if fate so desires it, if while exercising I cross the right person, they notice me, see potential in me and open doors of opportunity for me.
If not, than today will be just another dull day as usual.
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