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Moods
Oct 1, 2023 12:12:24 GMT
Post by Admin on Oct 1, 2023 12:12:24 GMT
This is how I feel right now This is how I feel right now.
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Moods
Oct 1, 2023 15:30:24 GMT
Post by Admin on Oct 1, 2023 15:30:24 GMT
Stranded  Stranded, that's kind of how I feel right now, and is a glimpse of current reality.
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Moods
Oct 5, 2023 0:44:06 GMT
Post by Admin on Oct 5, 2023 0:44:06 GMT
Today really beat me up I'm not a suicidal type, but I tell you what, when I woke up this morning, if I had passed away, I wasn't troubled by that idea. You just get tired sometimes, especially when alone.
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Moods
Oct 5, 2023 1:23:49 GMT
Post by Admin on Oct 5, 2023 1:23:49 GMT
I think things will get better, or stable again for me, emotionally.
I think I just tried to chew off more than I could swallow.
I economically stressed myself out, sure intentions were good, but intentions don't pay the bills.
here's the thing, without money or credit, in today's world, you're trapped, can't move, can't travel, and that's a very awful feeling, it's a terrible feeling actually, is why so many people dread going broke.
My future may be fuzzy at the moment, but as long as I take care of myself in the 'now', well, then that will help my mood to improve again.
Also, careful who you speak with, I sense I was talking to a rat, some older man at a _____ my sister attends.
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Moods
Oct 30, 2023 15:50:12 GMT
Post by Admin on Oct 30, 2023 15:50:12 GMT
I feel totally crummy right now  I feel totally crummy right now... I wish, never mind. I just wish I didn't feel crummy, I wish I didn't do things that made me feel crummy. I wish I had a social support group, but I don't, so oh well. It's Monday and I feel crummy.
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Moods
Nov 13, 2023 14:55:16 GMT
Post by Admin on Nov 13, 2023 14:55:16 GMT
I just haven't felt very happy lately.
I don't have anyone in this world who loves me.
I'm sure that has something to do with it.
There's no one who'll sacrifice anything for me, I do for others, others never do for me.
It's like I'm just a prop.
The older you get, all you really start caring about is who (other than your mother) cares about you.
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Moods
Dec 26, 2023 21:36:47 GMT
Post by Admin on Dec 26, 2023 21:36:47 GMT
Not in the best mood right now, not the worst either, just kind of a post drinking type of mood.
Really drunk high and having fun late last night, and down into the valley today, that's just how it goes when you drink, I suppose.
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Moods
Dec 26, 2023 23:46:05 GMT
Post by Admin on Dec 26, 2023 23:46:05 GMT
Dinner
Dinner...
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Moods
Mar 17, 2024 1:39:03 GMT
Post by Admin on Mar 17, 2024 1:39:03 GMT
I haven't felt this utterly useless to myself, others, and the world, as I do right now.
But nothing occurs in a vacuum, there's always a reason for why we feel as we do.
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Moods
Mar 17, 2024 1:41:28 GMT
Post by Admin on Mar 17, 2024 1:41:28 GMT
I ______, so have no ____ _____ at the moment, and so I just sit here, in this empty place, devoid of any emotional direction at the moment.
Maybe drinking has something to do with that...not drinking now, but did yesterday night after getting back from a road trip.
Body chemistry is odd, well not odd, but we emotionally put out what we put in, junk in, junk out, good stuff in, good stuff out, as in our moods, generally speaking.
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Moods
Mar 17, 2024 1:42:36 GMT
Post by Admin on Mar 17, 2024 1:42:36 GMT
Also, gotta learn to face my fears, not when drunk, but when sober.
As in not wanting to check a email, cause not really wanting finality on a situation, as in former employer.
Me not responding is rude.
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Moods
Mar 17, 2024 2:03:09 GMT
Post by Admin on Mar 17, 2024 2:03:09 GMT
I'm gonna conquer my most immediate fear tonight, which is to check my email and see about my employment status.
I mean, I haven't been there in weeks, but not sure if technically let go.
I'm wondering if they want me to resign, rather than possibly get unemployment money, which I've never gotten before in my life, but now at my age, why not.
I need to go ahead and person up, man up, lol, and go ahead and take control of this situation.
I got money coming, from another source, but don't plan on working for a few months, regardless, so ye, I could use unemployment checks during that time, why not, it's just money I could save.
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pull88
Junior Member
Posts: 59 
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Moods
Oct 9, 2024 0:45:57 GMT
Post by pull88 on Oct 9, 2024 0:45:57 GMT
I feel like I'm basically doomed.
Doomed can mean different things to different people.
To me, at this stage of my life, being doomed is that day I finally realize and recognize that none of my aspirations or dreams will come true...and that all that blabbering 'We all have a purpose' stuff, just never applied to me.
I have no purpose, other than the money I spend.
I matter to no one, haven't for decades.
I'm just here, fooling myself, convincing myself that there's more, that I was meant for more..yeah, OK.
Also, being alone will give you a different perspective about others, yourself, God, nation, society and more, that when always with someone or romantically paired, you don't get.
Don't get me wrong, I'd much rather be in a healthy relationship with another, paired, and not know what I know now, than to know what I know now and be alone.
-------------------------------
And that aside, truth is, is that if I haven't gotten it right by now, I never will...that's the fact Jack.
But of course, I can't allow myself to feel that way or I'd emotionally crumble, crack, so like most, I continue to feed myself a hopeful dream, just as a way of keeping my moral up.
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