Friday

What is it about being home, and not being dressed, that just sucks all the enthusiasm out of me?

But when out and about at work, even though I loath my job, at least I have energy.
But when home, just want to sloth around.

I need to change that.

Yep, it's Friday, yet again.

About to go to Best Buy and maybe buy a camera bag to help spurn me to want to go out and shoot more with my new camera.

I paid a lot for it, to much?...who knows...it's begginers top end though.
But all the features do no good if I don't ever use them.

But ye, just going to get up and out as a way of keeping myself enthused and engaged in life.

Well, the day started off OK, but then came back home and just mentally and physically crashed, laid down, woke up, and now I'm here typing.

I don't feel happy or sad, I just feel like I'm here and that luck will never go my way like it does for so many others.
I feel my months of schooling have been a waste of time, and a time for me to dream, but at the end of the day, my life, my fortune and my less than average luck will not have changed one single bit.

No one cares whether I succeed or fail or drop dead today, tomorrow or yesterday.
That's just my reality.

Haven't been drinking nearly as much lately, sober now as I type this.
Not sure where I'll be living 2 months from now or how...could be living in a small used RV, I just don't know.

I just know I don't want to spend the rest of my life being a labor slave.

------------------

No one gets back with you, everyone spins things in the most negative way against you, no one verifies anything to see if it's right true or correct anymore.

Everyone's basically a jerk, and they justify being a jerk, and don't care that they're a jerk.

Everyone, however, thinks God loves them, and will go to heaven, even they're they're a jerk to others, rotten to the core...'Oh, but god loves MEEEE', they say.

--------------------

Anyways, still lots of day left.
Will create a 'to do list', to ensure I actually get stuff done, otherwise I'll just space off and do nothing.

But the stuff I do do really doesn't seem to matter anyways, and not sure if it ever will.

I hate spam numbers cause they cause you to miss out on, not answer the phone for real legit numbers.
Foreign agents and illegals are bringing their rot to America.

It's Friday, and the day has rolled around on me quicker than I'd like.
Yesterday was a complete bust, I'm behind of stuff, I've lost my momentum of a few weeks ago, I've allowed myself to get distracted and laziness is beginning to set in, which is an enemy of progress.

Physically though, I feel better than I should.
Working out, and drinking less helps, in that regard.

Anyways, think I'll drink a bit of coffee, scan the headline news, and then work on a 'pitch', that I should of done yesterday for a script I've written and soon get to share with a producer.

You'd think I'd have my act together, but it's me, what do you expect.
I always cram and rush things in the end, instead of properly preparing in the middle.

It's Friday, let's see what fate has in store for me, us, today.

Friday

Already after 12 noon, wow.
I'm the biggest waster of time.

Where's the juice? I ask myself.
Where's that fire I used to have?
Where's the voltage?

I feel, at times, that I just don't want to fight for things anymore, which takes so much energy and emotions.
As you get older you instinctively begin to conserve your emotions and energy, and focus more on healing, physically and mentally.
-----------------------------------

It's Friday, after laying around all morning...however my film school supposedly teacher did call and we chatted, although they didn't teach me much at all that I didn't or couldn't learn on Youtube.

But they did call, and I did answer, and it's better to know people in this industry than to not know anyone.

That aside, do I go workout out even though totally don't feel like it? (which usually means you should)

The body and mind always tugging to see which is more strong.
Sometimes you gotta listen to your body, other times your mind...sometimes they're both in agreement.

Right now my bodies saying 'Leave me alone, just let me sleep'...my mind is saying 'snap out of it, let's go workout'.