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Post by Admin on Aug 6, 2023 1:10:43 GMT
I will never know what it's like to come home to a loving family, one of your own, one who anticipates your getting home after work.
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Post by Admin on Aug 6, 2023 1:11:22 GMT
If the world hates you, are you obliged to love it back?
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Post by Admin on Aug 14, 2023 10:59:09 GMT
I have no one to confide in, no one who even cares about my mental state or well being.
Most have no idea what it's like to go through life alone, and still try to maintain an appearance of normality about yourself.
Most have no idea what that's like.
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Post by Admin on Aug 14, 2023 11:01:44 GMT
Giving up is not a good feeling, especially when older, cause the fight doesn't end until you're dead, meaning when older, more tired, so what, that doesn't mean the end is near.
You could still have another 10 years of life, but if that life begins to seem like a constant up hill battle, than it can begin to effect your moral after a while.
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Post by Admin on Aug 14, 2023 11:08:01 GMT
A few set backs lately.
For a while there I thought I had finally met someone, but turns out they're a bit to young for me, and on top of that they have an addiction problem.
And for a while there was producing my own self sponsored radio show, but that to went caput.
And for a quick minute I thought I'd maybe found a new profession I could learn and thrive in, but as of late, the more I learn about it, the less appealing it seems to me.
If you're not passionate about something, than learning it, studying it, will seem like a chore and will dampen your enthusiasm which means you'll ultimately fail at it.
The trick is trying to find something that you're passionate about and also being able to make a living doing it.
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Post by Admin on Oct 1, 2023 16:25:16 GMT
How can you fake yourself into pretending you're not depressed or troubled?
Is that what religion does?
I mean with religion, it's easy to fake pretend everything is going to be OK, even when it's not, cause when it's not OK, you just tell yourself
'Well, at least I'm going to heaven when I'm dead'
Is that like self trickery?....I mean if it works it works, I suppose.
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Post by Admin on Nov 28, 2023 4:45:27 GMT
I don't know, it's like for the first time, I realize now just how far away I am from any place that could help me be successful, I'm not even close, and yes, success is defined differently by each person.
I'm speaking of my idea of success, which isn't just being some 9-5 over the hill labor stooge.
Just not sure if I can get where I need to get anymore, to give myself a decent future, everyone around me has cursed that, literally.
Just not sure what to do anymore about any of it.
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Post by Admin on Dec 27, 2023 14:09:39 GMT
Even going grocery shopping, to me right now, seems like a drag.
I mean money's tight, and although earning the same, I just can't seem to save money anymore, and if slowly going broke, what truly is there to look forward to?
And to me, happiness when older, doesn't come from working more, working some job you don't like, just to pay basic bills.
I'll go homeless before I do that, while continuing to work, cause that's how you really save.
It's not that most of us don't earn enough, it's that stuff just keeps going up and up and up in prices.
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Post by Admin on Jan 1, 2024 4:16:06 GMT
I seriously don't know what's going to keep me going through 2024.
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Post by Admin on Feb 12, 2024 21:13:37 GMT
When you lose motivation
When you lose motivation, life can begin to feel really heavy.
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Post by Admin on Feb 13, 2024 4:05:08 GMT
What scares me the most right now, is the idea of getting older, and just living just to get by.
My creative side is such an important part of who I am, but you need to be in a stable environment to do so.
The side the world sees when I show up to work isn't all of me, and I don't really like that side...I mean I do, but it bugs me that people can't see I'm much more than that.
I don't want my creative side to ever die, my creative side is what keeps my spirit alive....not that I've ever made money from my creative art, and it's many forms...but still.
I fear just turning into some mundane older worker who's lost their 'shine'.
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Post by Admin on Oct 5, 2024 18:12:52 GMT
You get to a point where you just don't want to go forward anymore, but time just keeps nudging you forward to a future you really no longer look forward to.
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Post by Admin on Oct 5, 2024 18:13:50 GMT
I don't have anyone else to impress, not even really myself.
I basically stand upon nothing.
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Post by Admin on Oct 18, 2024 21:25:04 GMT
Reality can really bit hard at times  Reality, at least mine, can really bite hard at times. I guess some people can have very good pleasant realities, or we all can, at times, I suppose. But then there are other times when our own personal realities absolutely and totally suck and bite, as I feel mine kind of does right now. I guess it depends on what you want, wanted out of life, and what you expected of yourself to get you there. Some people do get more breaks than others, and other people, well, no breaks, just bites, big chunks of reality takes big chunky bites out of your behind. All one can really do is write about it as a way of relieving built of anxiety. And 'Time' also sucks, when reality sucks, so does time, which simply delivers you more of the reality that keeps biting. Oh well, what can you do about it.
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