Early morning thoughts

More like mid morning thoughts

But why do our faces look so droopy when we first wake up?

It's about time for bed...my day ends when I go to bed, not when the clock hand strikes midnight.
My day ends when I want it to end.
If I stay up until 4 am, and go to bed at 4:01 am, then that's when my day ends.

Speaking of today..ahh...could have, should have been better, but it is or was what it was.
I think my body is healing, crashing, or something.

Anyways, that's about it on here for this time period.

Up early...is what happens when stop drinking and working out daily, you just wake up early, and with energy.

I feel a bit agitated though, not sure why.

Think I'll go exercise real quick.
Sometimes just getting ride of the previous days built of negative energy helps clear the mind...and burning calories is a good way to do that.

I think negative energy can be stored in our cells, or stuff our cells hold onto...so why not burn off that negative energy by exercising.

I mean everything is stored in our cells, from memories, thoughts and more.

Trump gave a good speech last night, no doubt.
Trump could almost rival Fidel Castro in length of speeches...lol.

And Trump just seems so comfortable on stage, talking, delivering...and he never seems bored or in a rush.
Not sure how he developed such interpersonal skills like that.

He makes other politicians seem so bland and stale and cardboard.

As a minority person, I really do think Trumps vision for a America is a ton better than that of his rivals.

Steve Harvey, the morning show, and the Breakfast club, the View TV show, all of those platforms keep their black audience stupid, dumb and ignorant.
Like their all under a spell or something...the attack Trump without even studying his policies that help them.

They're like the horse that keeps running back into the burning barn.

Anyways, gotta cut this short...other things to do.

This may just be my current mood talking...but as I sit here in the early morning dark calm, body slowly healing from not drinking regularly anymore, and while examining my current and future...there's a part of me that would just rather ____, and just let go, rather than go on down a hellish road to nowhere.

In that, not sure if it'll ever get better than it is for me right now.
It's like I'm on a sabbatical, haven't worked in over 4 months, just chilling, and taking online course.
Wake up when I want, go to bed when I want, bills are paid, so my days don't evolve around earning money...it's heavenly.

But, but, I know it won't last cause eventually I'm gonna have to go back to work, either doing something I can tolerlate or doing something I out and right hate.

It's like once again I've found that spot in hell, where I'm comfortable...but you know how that is, one slight degree off and all is terrible again.
Well, do I want terrible again?
What's the fight for, anymore, going forward?

Nothings going to change, will always be alone, so to speak, people will always talk about, and around me, no matter what...so what's the point in putting up with hell, going forward?

What's the point anymore, I ask myself during quiet calm soothing moments like this.

I guess it's about time for bed



This is a RV bedroom, or motorhome bedroom, one I may be sleeping in, again...not this one, but one like it.
I did it before years ago, may end up doing it again, to save money.

As long as I have the internet and can write, what do I care.
But change can always be uncomfortable and uncertain at first...but as humans, we're usually good at adopting to change, as long as young and healthy enough to do so...is why physical health is so important.

Anyways, that's in the future...oh the future...the future can be a scary place if not prepared for it.

That being said, I think it's time for bed.

⬆️⬆️⬆️ Continued from above.

The only way to cure myself of this feeling is to prepare, and to stop being lazy, and to stop putting things off, it's really the only way to overcome that dreaded feeling of time running out.

And so today I will try to do just that, prepare, get stuff done that should have been done weeks ago, and try to hopefully change and adjust my work habit or habits.

Not that I'm employed right now, but towards other things I must get done in my life.
For crying out loud I just finished up a 6 month film course and I'm dragging my behind like it's some game or something or that I have months, years, to just lay around and play 'Let's pretend'.

If I don't put in the work and prepare my life resume, school resume, and practice 'pitching', no one else is going to do it for me.
No one helps me with anything in this world, not now, not in the past, why would that change now?
And the only person who sees talent in me is me.

I'm surrounded by deadpool types who don't see potential in no one.