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Post by Admin on May 26, 2021 1:43:13 GMT
The most boring, dreaded thing you will ever do, if and when live alone and are single, is clean up your bathroom...talk about an activity that totally makes you feel worthless.
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Post by Admin on Jun 10, 2021 5:58:56 GMT
One day, I want to try to just make a ordinary person feel special
It just seems many people do lose their 'spark' when out of either high school or college and get stuck in 'the grind', especially within the blue collar realm, within the blue collar realm, especially males, so many just seem to lose their spark, yet years ago, that same dull male was probably a lot happier when chasing women or going to school and still felt they had a future in their life.
But to be honest, I think most get that spark and purpose from their family and 'kids', if fortunate enough to have them, I mean even if divorced, even if a criminal, a scoundrel, people get their 'spark' from their own family usually, if all goes as planned.
But what of those who lack that?
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Post by Admin on Jun 13, 2021 18:42:54 GMT
Still I long journey
It's still a long journey, and to be honest, at times I don't know where I'm going anymore.
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Post by Admin on Jun 16, 2021 2:29:00 GMT
When get older, your fear is that the 'younger class' will simply wad you up and toss you in the trash  Wrinkles, is the title of this piece.
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Post by Admin on Jun 17, 2021 16:11:06 GMT
I'm content, at this stage of my life, writing about the past, but it doesn't mean I want the past to come back to 'life'.
The real real past, yes, if could jump back into a time machine, but those from that past, as they are today, I doubt I'd recognize them.
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Post by Admin on Jun 17, 2021 16:14:00 GMT
If they're content, have been content with me being gone, well then I guess I've finally become content with them being gone as well.
Trying to sort out my emotions here, is what I so love about writing, cause right or wrong, it allows you to clarify things to self, like a counseling session or something without feedback or talk back, sometimes that's needed.
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Post by Admin on Jun 17, 2021 16:15:11 GMT
Tired of being strong, right and proper for others who could give a crap about me or my existence.
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Post by Admin on Jun 17, 2021 16:58:54 GMT
Ye, just trying to sort through thoughts right now, I've had relative peace for years, cause I've come to 'peace' with my past and the presence, and that's been a long journey, so why would I want to undo that peace?
Life is about patterns, and learning those patterns is about being smart, recognizing that patterns do have meaning is about wisdom.
And one thing I've learned, never go back to an unapologetic person or you'll be sorry you did.
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Post by Admin on Jun 17, 2021 17:03:17 GMT
I've also learned people don't care that you're 'right' or always right, unless maybe it has to do with 'math', but other than math, hardcore electronical engineering type stuff, outside of that, being 'right' is a real 'relative thing'.
I mean look how many people on both sides of the corona v thing, think they're right.
Look how many people in politics who swear up and down they're right, yet others could care the less and think they're wrong.
What people want is for you to agree with them and confirm their own sensibilities.
That's what I've learned.
The only thing that really breaks that self serving interest is 'Love', love is like a spell, and it's only when one is truly in Love does one tend to go against their own self interest.
And or if one is truly Loving, but how rare is that.
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Post by Admin on Jul 3, 2021 0:42:21 GMT
Pullman type babes I grew up around, is what these babes remind me of
Gosh..I actually like this, normally women annoy me, but these women here, wow, they're like cool to me.
Cause they're older, yet don't act old, instead they act young and fit, I , we, them, whomever, totally like that.
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Post by Admin on Jul 4, 2021 23:25:28 GMT
Today's the 4th of July or 'Independence Day' to some or many  Me, I'll be spending it alone, as did last year and the year before that, and the year before that. Not sure why people who don't like the U.S., even though born here, even bother lighting off fire works, I think they just like the loud booms and pops. I'm the opposite, I'm content with nation of birth, but don't like loud explosions going off around me, especially if live in a bad area. I guess hearing loud booms makes younger guys feel more macho?...like how certain types need pit bull dogs to feel more 'together'. I can't stand pit bull dogs either, they're a direct result, breeding result, of mans ugliness. All that is ugly about 'man', you can see in a pit bull, which is mans creation. But ye, will be spending this fourth alone, no calls, nothing, alone, as if dead. But not dead, very much alive and why I'm writing this.
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Post by Admin on Jul 6, 2021 19:39:27 GMT
It's time to get moving up and about here or I'm going to turn into a tree stump sitting here on edge of bed surfing the web and all.
I get many days off a week, but don't make as good use of the time as I thought I would if had such a schedule, not sure why, lack motivation I guess right now.
I don't have anyone pushing me anymore, no one to compete with, that's one good thing about having friends is friends tend to lightly compete with one another to see who can accomplish more, but without any good friends, it's just kind of like 'blah'...like crossing a finish line inside of a empty stadium.
That aside, when all else fails to motivate me to get up and about, I just create a random 'to do list' with various stuff on it, chores, this, that, just to get me moving around, then every now and then I'll get drawn into something meaningful.
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Post by Admin on Jul 21, 2021 2:13:27 GMT
Every have one of those days where just everything goes wrong?, of course you do Just been one of those evenings, not days, but rather evenings, and worse when spend money online just to get ripped off, then when try to call 'support', of course not there. And crap always seems to go wrong the day before have to go back to work. All that aside, it's why I so enjoy 'theater', as in this episode here of Paranormal Saturday titled 'Last person on Earth'.  mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/i8xdu9/What_if_person_on_Earth7sy6u.mp3 Hit link to listen to Podcast show on Podbeam. Days like today really make me wish indeed I were the only person on all the planet Earth, for sure.
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Post by Admin on Aug 9, 2021 15:42:17 GMT
Still here, still churning along.
My fondness for all things 'Pullman' is started to fade a bit though, I mean that's why originally created this theme was to get back in touch with my Pullman side, and do that by remembering things there, but lately just not in that zone.
Like everything else, I'm sure Pullman has changed, and I'd be a stranger if went back there, to all the newer people there.
That being said, still churning on, life doesn't let you go until it lets you go, so until then all you can do is churn on.
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Post by Admin on Aug 31, 2021 5:19:21 GMT
In a quiet mood right now
In a quiet mood right now, as I sit here, I don't have to work tomorrow, that's good, but if not in the mood to do anything, not so good, cause that's wasted time.
Then when at work will wish I had gotten more done when off.
To be honest, my life has been pretty darn boring as of late, as of the last decade or so actually, outside of work, I really just don't do much, when home I stay home, I don't even go out anymore, where would I go?
Like so many, I live my life through my computer now.
Actually I can't say others do that cause when I'm driving around while at work, there's tons of cars on the road, full of families, going places or on vacation ect.
But when a lone like I am, there's just not much I feel like doing when home other than online stuff.
I was a 'C' student, and I feel in life I'm a 'C' person.
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