A very long Journey since leaving Pullman

Long Journey continued



Yes classmates, our journey doesn't end until it's over, and it's not over yet as long as I'm around, the one who will make sense of it all, the one who will go back and grab moments, share moments, try to make sense of moments that others have long forgotten about or don't care to share.

If, from Pullman, Albion, that whole area, and I ever set eyes upon you, than you are forever etched into my mind, my conscious. I may not always be able to remember names, but I do rememember faces, how you looked back then.

Hell, I grew up with most of you all from K-12, how could I forget your cute faces?

Obviously you've aged since I last seen ya, but like a parent, you remember your child as they were when young (not that any of you are my children, lol), but you get the point.

I remember what you did in elementary school, middle school, and high school.

I even remember Prom night, the night me and Dan K were in front of car with I think Suddath (Indian gal who hated my guts), and I think maybe Jill B (tall blond gal who played golf), and a few geeky guys, who's names slip me right now, all headed to the dance, but we kept them at bay, typical high school antics.

Me and my crew were outsiders, so going to dances wasn't something we did, but on the inside we wanted to, but just felt to insecure?, I don't know, so instead we acted tough as if we didn't care, but on the inside we did, I guess.

The once dance I did go to in high school, with gal I had crush on since Jefferson Elementary (Kathy B), the one dance I did go to on a wintery snowy night (her and her younger brother drove out to Albion to pick me up, how so very nice), but the one date I did finally go on, my 'crew' ruined it, in that they pranked Kathy B later that night, prank called her, and her Father blamed it on me.

That's all the excuse her Father needed I guess to get Kathy B to not go out with me anymore...sad thing is they, she, never asked my side of story, never asked..
'Was that you calling?'

Instead I was instantly judged and condemned, and it has bugged me ever since.

Not a month hardle ever goes by where I don't think about what could of been.

Kathy B was my dream gal, I mean other guys didn't find her so attractive, but I sure did, something about her nice tender soul, she was some what of a tomboy as well.

But our date was kind of like 'Carry', that horror movie, only the prank on her took place after the dance by my crew.

I found this out later after I told them what happened, and then they, Carlos F, and Steve L, admitted they were the ones that called...

And forever I'm like 'Why?', why did you do that?...were they jealous or something?

I mean ye they shouldn't of done that, but worse is the fact that Kathy B never gave me the benefit of the doubt, never confided in me, never once asked 'Maybe it wasn't him who prank called'...I mean my voice doesn't even sound like there's.

I believe it was her Father who convincerd her it was me.

And to this day I regret that it occurred, cause I actually wanted to Marry that gal, I could of seen myself spending rest of life with her, even back then, and I do believe she was indeed my 'soulmate'...I know she was...I mean I'd known her since the 4th grade.

And sorry, you don't just have that history with any ole one.

She was such a kind soul under the influence of her prejiduce Father, coward that he was...typical of his generation though.

I hope Kathy be is doing fine, I even sometimes still have dreams with her in them, and in the dreams they're 50/50, in that sometimes all is forgiven and she's all nice to me, in which I don't want to wake up, and then other times she's still soar at me.

Even though we haven't spoken in decades, I still feel like if we met it would be as if never left, and I wish we could continue our relationship from the night of the dance...



In fact if I ever met her again, I'd ask if we could start over, and I'd rent whole ballroom for just us, light playing music and all, just us.

That dance not working out, really solidified my outcast fate, for had that dance worked out, I would of been swept into the more main crowd of fellow students, cause no doubt we would of went out again, and again, and all hung out, and my life would of been so much more normal, I could of avoided so much inner turmoil and began to heal, probably would of went to college right after high school and all to be with her.

If there's a devil, than the devil or his angels wrecked a large part of my life by making Carlos F and Steve L prank call Kathy B later that night.

I just so wish she had asked me 'Was that you calling?', and gave me the chance to say 'No, it wasn't'...gave me the chance to get to the bottom of it all.

Why Kathy B did you not give me a chance?

You liked me as well, you had a crush on me as well, you had watched me since the 4th grade as well, you should of followed your heart instead of allowing your Father to ruin, wreck, our future together.

I know he was or is your Father, but Father's can be jerks at times, as was mine.

Anyways, to this day I'm still missing you, and yes this is me, a pic taken a few years ago, so obviously I've aged decently, and still take care of self, have to, cause if I don't who will.

Let's get married...why not, we have a few good years left...

Ahh, I'm sure you're already married and have happy family of your own, just reminissing (Mrs Yount, our high school English and spelling teacher, would hate my spelling even today, Mrs Yount was a odd English teach, blonde, subdued, but also was like a Karate student)(more on Mrs Yount later).

Anyways Kathy B, if still healthy and alive, hope one day you'll read this cause this is the letter I wish I could of written long ago.

So much more to follow people, this is just the beginning, I'm in no rush...I even have a song that totally reminds me of Kathy B, I'll share it later.

Back soon.

Whitman County in the Fall

Whiteman county in the fall, what a lovely scenic place, as I remember it, that time when autumn colors begin to pain the scenescape.



In States like WA, you get true autumns, and get to truly see nature go through it's changes. Watching nature prepare for sleep, tends to have a spiritual effect on thy soul.

In more warm tropics areas, you don't get to truly observe the wonders of Fall.

Also, about this time, when I was growing up there is when you started seeing all the seasonal decorations, back then just about every yard got into the season, with pumpkins, and other Halloween decals, many peoples front yards took on the look of a 'stage' or outdoor production, around this time of the year.

I can even remember walking home from Sunny side elementary, and being enamored at the sound of falling leaves, and the sounds they made as they crunched beneath your shoes.

When young like that, when your neighborhood is like a planet, you just tend to take in everything, and senses are heightened, is why after all these years can still remember those times as if they occurred yesterday.

And speaking of Sunny Side, on the street 'City View', where I spent early childhood, on the way home there was this older lady who handed out cookies to us children (I doubt that would ever be allowed in todays untrusting social environment), but back then it was, and whenever she had a red ribbon on the door, that meant she had treats to give out to us on the way back home from school.

She lived in a red brick single story home (I think it was single story)...I don't think her story ever gets told, wish I could tell more about her, but that's all I really remember is that red ribbon on door handle, and if we saw it, that meant she had treats.

I'm sure she's long gone by now, cause this occurred when I was in like K-3, and if she was already in her...30's, or 40's or above, I'm sure she's moved onto the next world.

But at 6-7, it's kind of hard to gauge an adults age, I do know she had blonde hair though.

Maybe she was a hanzel and gretal Witch, luring people to her door and then snatching them inside, I doubt it, in a town Like Pullman everyone would of known about it.

People who live in Pullman now, transplants from other larger areas, have no idea how Pullman use to be.

People who transplant to Pullman from California, New York, ect, tend to bring certain ugly biases with them.

Even younger types who move there and think 'Oh, I've discovered this new magical place'...nope, you haven't, memories were laid there long before you arrived.

Back then, us young ones, were allowed to tread through peoples yards on the way to and from school, try that today and see what happens.

Me, Todd K, Mark N, and a few others, would do this on our way to Sunnyside Elementary for a while.

Todd K, the white haired cool dude, I'll have to get into the impact they had on my life later, they kind of always reminded me of Barney Rebel...in that they just had a very agreeable personality, and you had to do a lot to upset them, and even when they did get upset it still seemed as if they were in a good mood.

Anyways, as usual, I'm drifting, I tend to do that when start reflecting on the past, as one memory merges with another, now it's back to my current reality, yuk.

But will be back soon to lay down more thoughts from the past and that area, as it was, when I left.

Hootie and the blow fish





I was driving the other day, while on the job, it was late night, bored, trying to stay awake, and while channel surfing came upon this old song by 'Hootie and the Blowfish', it's kind of one of those forgotten mid 1990 era songs.

But that was a very strong era in pop culture, it's when Tupac was at his peak and demise, biggie Smalls, the whole West vs East beef...and more...it was a powerful era in music and pop culture.

And it was my Navy years...the USS Carl Vinson, CVN 70, the Golden Eagle..that's a whole section within itself.

But ye, Hootie and the blow fish, what a happy song, it's such a 'general song', it's like a song that offered America, the world, a more peaceful direction to go in...gosh, what has happened since?..I think Clinton was President then, and or Bush?, or Both.

And for me, just average I suppose, healthy but average, could have, should have, been my years to distinguish self, but really didn't outside of official Navy duties.

I was just one of those 'lifer types', everyone thought I'd be in for life cause I was so standard, but I really wasn't, what I was was insecure, and so when insecure tend to act 'shy' and withdrawn and duty bound...that was me back then folks..

Looking back, I wish I had stayed in, given it at least 4 more years, but social politics at the time drove me out, it was almost like being in high school again with the 'games' and 'gimmicks' going on, the politics made it ugly, so I got out in Bremerton, WA and had place by the water...would share photos but about 10 years ago lost all my past in storage and to this day I get sore when thinking about that, is why I don't like TV shows that make humor or light out of people who loose their storage...losing your past is tragic to me, losing pictures, items, journals, that can never be replaced, to me that's tragic.

But ye, had apartment, while in Navy, right by cliffs edge, right next to pudget sound water way, would see killer whales in the channel, can't believe I gave that up...when younger, I just didn't always make the best decisions.

Fate, when younger, often put me in positions to really prosper, but one way or the other I would find a way to mess it up, is why I feel now 'God' is like 'Screw you, I gave you dozens of opportunities in the past to accel, and you blew all of them'...

But I really had no guidance when in my prime, no one wanted to guide me, cause I was tall and fit and handsome, that intimidated a lot of people, they just figured I already had life in order, but if only they knew how starving I was, ever since leaving high school, that I was for guidance, someone not afraid to guide me in a loving way, just never found it...sadly not...so instead just ended up drifting through life, from one mishap to another.

Not criminal mishap, but rather social and or fiscal mishap, like a nice yacht without a engine or sails, and so instead just ends up drifting.

Invited to 1, repeat just one class reunion after all these years, it's as if classmates think I'm dead or with I were.

Anyways, I'm not dead, still here, and one day right person will read this, and do something with it from the Pullman/Albion area, or maybe not.

As of now, doing OK, probably a bit above average, considering the whole Covid hoax crap...yes, I lean that way politically.

That aside, if anyone from Whitman county, Pullman area, stumbles upon this, Kip Lincoln family (friends of my older brother, oh how my older brother use to brag about Kip Lincoln, and the Cadillac he drove..lol...back when little brothers like me watched in amazement as older brothers prepared for dates).

I so miss those days, I so miss being love, so miss being cradled by people who just new how utterly harmless you were, are...that was heaven to me...and then you grow up, and leave area and hell begins.

Be well all, back soon.

Where I stay or live now, violence and gunfire is like a virtue

Oh how I miss the calm quite nights of Pullman and or Albion, WA.

I think all the time I was there, maybe 2-3 homicides, so few that I can remember them all, I think.

I remember one occurred when in elementary school, it occurred on campus, in the dorms, a bomb went off, I think it was a suicide bomb, not Islamic one, but a depressed boyfriend trying to blow himself up and his girlfriend...if I remember correctly though, I think his girlfriend or ex girlfriend was gone at the time bomb went off...again you can look it up in the archived news there I'm sure, happened many years ago, and remember driving by the dorm while taking a field trip with classmates, and looking up and seeing the blown out window and black soot marks, occurred in the dorms not far from the collisiam (I still can't spell).

Then I think another one occurred while I was in high school, some 'rockers' and 'stoners' got into it, one guy pulled a knife and stabbed the other, we were all so shocked when we heard about it, and I vaguely remember the guy who got stabbed, actually I do now, if thinking of the right one.

Woh...one sec, as memory comes back...(pause)

I do remember the guy, but forget their name, a very soft spoken older classmate type of guy, but to me they were more of a hippie type than a rocker, If thinking of the right guy, we were kind of 'friends', not friend friends, but kind of 'hey, your odd like me type of friend', and since I'm older than you, I'll look out for you, type of friend.

I think they drove a Volkswagon bus, like a true hippie would, and were like 2 grades above me.

I remember one sunny warm day they gave me a ride back to Albion in their volks bus, and I had a plastic airplane, with free twirling propellor, windows were down, and I held airplane out the window and propeller spun fast, I remember they thought this was 'radically cool', and told me to keep doing it, and I did, until the wind just blew it from my hand...and we both laughed.

Again, I think this was the guy, upper classmate who got stabbed, I can't be certain though, but when writing about it above, that gut memory feeling just came back of 'loss', even though it's been so many years ago.

I may try to look this story up from the past just to know for certain if it's who I remember it was, one sec, to be continued.

Picture kind of gave me a jolt

I was trying to see if I could fix older cameras I have, well one I couldn't, so decided to take memory card out and plug it into computer, and when I did, the first picture I saw was of my deceased Father in a military uniform...wow.

It just kind of gave me a jolt, hard to explain.

We didn't really get along on much, I don't think they ever really liked me, not sure what type of son they wanted, I mean when I tried doing things right, they were still grouchy, as if they saw me as competition rather than their son.

They would boast to me about their accomplishments as if boasting to some one from the past they were trying to prove something to.

We just didn't get along..and will probably move this section to the 'family affair' section later.

None the less, they were still my Father, and as such for many years a authority figure in my life.
I have no such authority figure in my life now, haven't in decades, and kind of yearn for it again, but will never happen.

Seeing their picture, I was both sad and a bit encouraged all in one.

I'm sure if they were alive today, they'd still be ashamed of me cause I haven't gone as far in life as them, not even close.

Sure I'm healthy and all, but career wise, not even close, and there's reasons for that that I'll get into later.

But if I didn't have their physical DNA, you wouldn't even believe we were related, that's how differently I've evolved as a person, than them, since leaving the home decades ago.

They come from a different era, a segregated era, their world was literally black and white, mine isn't.

They're from the deep south, Georgia, yet he moved his family way out to WA State to grow up...why? (I know why), and at times thankful, but other times I wonder, now that older, was that wise as far as my socialization goes.

I've been a misfit my whole life do to not ever being able to fit in anywhere, leaving Pullman and thinking everyone would just see me as a harmless Pullman farmland boy, oh how I was wrong.

You leave Pullman, as a person of color, and you just fall into nationwide stereotypes.

In Pullman you're you, cause people know or knew you, out here you're just a color or gender.

Anyways, maybe one day I'll post that picture of Father in military uniform, it's so, so, that era.

I'd have a ton more pics to share had my storage not been lost about 10 years ago or longer, that still angers me, and to this day cannot watch those storage wars shows, that's peoples stuff in there, their memories, memories are all you got when you get older.

I lost a lot of pics over the years, and is why I guess I try so hard now to paint those pictures with my words.

Today feels like Sunday to me, cause I've been off for 4 days

Today feels like Sunday to me, big time, been off for a few days, if I never had to return to work I would be fine with that.

Had I made wiser decisions in the past that might be possible.

One thing I like about job is I get to sleep in every single day, that early morning stuff will age you.

Anyways, not really much to express right now, I'm like a volcano I guess, when active, watch out, but when dormant, not much going on, and right now a bit emotionally dormant cause it's my Sunday.