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Post by Admin on Nov 7, 2022 13:51:09 GMT
Do curses within bloodlines exist, I wonder?
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Post by Admin on Nov 7, 2022 13:53:16 GMT
I just know this, and that is I cannot fight fate, fate is much larger than myself. I don't stress over things anymore cause I know I cannot fight fate.
And few things in my life are worth stressing over anymore. I'm not loved, nor am I in love, so there's really nothing to stress or sweat over other than my own personal well being.
That's just how fate has it I guess.
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Post by Admin on Jul 5, 2023 23:51:34 GMT
dreamed mother called me, tried to guilt me for not calling, but I wasn't having it. i reminded them that it was they, them, that cut me out of life, not me.
Even though a dream, it ust amazes me how years later people play dumb, try to guilt you for behavior they themselves directed you towards.
If not honest, don't ever approach me or I'll undress you right there where you stand.
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Post by Admin on Jul 24, 2023 4:02:31 GMT
This song reminds me of my Mother
My Mother is the only reason why I still am, why I still chose to live, why I still chose to be good.
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Post by Admin on Jul 31, 2023 23:35:52 GMT
I think my eldest _____ just tried calling. I'm just not in the mood to speak with them, or anyone else in that _____.
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Post by Admin on Aug 8, 2023 6:38:11 GMT
So few will ever understand what it's like to be alive, yet unloved by anyone, family and or billions.
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Post by Admin on Aug 8, 2023 6:40:11 GMT
people lie, but there comes a time where have to at least forgive that 'one' who, well, you need for your own mental balance.
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Post by Admin on Aug 21, 2023 12:49:48 GMT
I'm supposed to make a long trip today, I really don't feel like it (who likes to travel anymore?) I mean I drive enough at work, the last appealing thing for me to do is drive some more when off. But these matters are important, and time is running out.
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Post by Admin on Aug 21, 2023 12:51:52 GMT
Just turned phone on, it's been off since Early Sunday morning. I sealed self off from the world so I could recover my mind and body, after a heavy night of beer. When you get older, beer effects you differently. I probably don't drink alot compared to some, but when I do, it hits hard, probably cause I don't drink that much, compared to others, to begin with.
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Post by Admin on Sept 5, 2023 14:45:35 GMT
When someone passes, it's hard to grieve in a hard or light way when haven't been around said person for over a decade.
Sadly, when the day comes that I pass, who will grieve for me?....no one.
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Post by Admin on Sept 5, 2023 21:04:03 GMT
Ye, as we age, people close to us begin to pass away. How do we handle that? I'm not close to to many people these days, family or not. Sure, I have acquaintances, but to be blunt, if, when, I die, no one will be at my funeral.
So, that being said, I'm trying to make myself be concerned about those who wouldn't even bother showing up at my funeral. But I can't let that fact turn me into a hardened insensitive monster either.
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Post by Admin on Sept 10, 2023 3:14:09 GMT
I'm learning who the real demons are in this family.
I think some people use the gospel as witchcraft or something. And or, some are worshipping dark deities unknowingly.
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Post by Admin on Sept 14, 2023 12:30:55 GMT
Seems the only thing 'god' has taught my family how to do is become better at hating others.
Not just my family, but everytime someone tells me their religious, or have a ministry, or their family does, they end up being some of the most hateful, bigoted, abusive types in society.
Just not sure what 'gods' they're worshipping or think they are.
Everyone I know, including family, were way cooler before they found religion.
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Post by Admin on Sept 15, 2023 2:56:32 GMT
It's late, normally I'd feel free, since off tomorrow, but this time, I told a few, that I'd attend a 'viewing', so instead of relaxing tomorrow, I'll be renting a car, and doing some more driving and spending of money.
No one cares about me, so I'm really only doing this for my ______, so they can at least know their _____ has integrity.
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Post by Admin on Sept 15, 2023 16:07:53 GMT
Well, I went to airport, parked older car and rented a newer one, why not, the last thing I need is for daily older work car to break down 100 or so miles from my home, cause I have to work tomorrow.
It's a sports car, one I've always wanted, I mean if have to use up my free off time day to go to a viewing, I may as well make it a bit of fun for self.
And a relative will be riding alone with me, and that's probably a good thing, only cause with them there I'll behave, if they weren't there, I'd might be tempted to _____ on the way back, just a bit, but still, but with them there, totally out of the question. Anyways, now gotta fill out some cards, and debating on whether I should put money in the cards, I mean I'm not rich, far, far, far from it, and if I passed away, none of them would do the same for me...and none of them ever call me, invite me anywhere ect, I haven't seen them in over a decade...I don't even think they like me, in fact they, like the rest of my family, abandoned me. So, that being said, I'm only doing this for my one and only ______, since they cannot make it themselves. I want my one and only _____ to know I was the good and level headed one, all the time, regardless of my antics or theatrics.
Oh well, we only have the future, and the older you get, the shorter all of our futures get as well.
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