Sobriety and the challenges of

when I stop drinking, I do feel better, and start talking faster again....my problems don't go away, but I do feel better when I'm not drinking.

I almost drank last night when I got in after work, now, I'm glad I didn't.
It's not good to punish the body while at work, and then drink after coming in from a 16 + hour day.

You can do that when younger, I suppose, but as you age it's not so wise to do so.

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I have a lot of small micro stuff to get done, micro as in it's all tasks in the brain, creative type of stuff that doesn't amount to beans until and if it catches on with the public.

I'm watching 'The Wu Tang Clan, an American saga', and it's inspiring me to not give up, but it's also showing me, reinforcing to me, how important a team is, how important it is to have a solid team around you, those who do 'prosper', those who don't flounder.

If you don't have a good solid team around you, you just won't amount to much, no matter the enthusiasm or ideas that imminate from your mind or brain.



I doubt I'll ever become what they were, I mean they've already made their mark, and I've yet to make mine, and they're past their prime, and so am I.
But none the less, their story still inspires me to still at least live while alive.

Yes, committing suicide is kind of one of those 'I'll show them', type of actions or behaviors, but if there's no one to 'show', than the incentive to commit suicide goes away.

That does make sense.

Maybe being healthy, fine and fit, isn't as scary as sometimes my mind makes it out to be.
I'll give it a try, and see what emerges as far as personality and outlook.

Decision making prowess really does begin to change, when you're sober

When drunk, one tends to make rash decision, while drunk, of course.
When sober, one tends to make more rational decisions.

I've made decisions, purchasing decisions, ect, while both drunk and sober...what's my verdict?

Sometimes I've made decisions, while drunk, that I'm glad I did, that I wouldn't have while sober, decisions as in maybe calling someone, or going ahead and making a purchase that I really did need, but while sober to cheap to do so.

But it can bad also, that is making decisions while drunk.
I also notice, while sober, there's certain people I just don't want to talk to, or have anything to do with, but when drunk they seem fun to me.
Actually, more like when I'm drunk, messing with people is what I find fun and recreational, not physically, but psychologically that is.
When drunk, I love to wrestle with peoples minds.

Well, all that aside, I'm sober now, and so going through that transitional phase trying to find or figure out who I am, so to speak.
Gotta let the dust settle, I suppose.

Going on a 'dry' stretch right now.
The hardest part for me, when go dry early on, is finding that 'push' motivation to just do things.
Alcohol usually is the voltage to keep things moving forward, when alone, but when sober, even if have a ton of energy, that 'voltage' to move forward isn't always there, at first.

It just takes time for it to come back.
I guess alcohol is what kind of just makes it fun...but again, fun, feeling like you're having a fun time, can come back naturally, when sustain from drinking for a few days or weeks.

i think I'm finally serious about cutting alcohol out of my life for good.
I've been drinking less and less over the years, but still to much.
I'll go days without drinking, and then binge.
But always alone.
But that's not good anymore.
Abuse is abuse, whether 3 days a week or one day a week, and that's what heavy beer drinking is to your body, even if done just once a week, it's still abuse to your body as you age.

As such, I think I'm done drinking.
We shall see.